Goyish Satmar Hechsher

One who observes will have noticed that the Butcherie in Brookline hasn't sold the same brand of Chalav Israel milk for a month strait.


Up until two years ago, it was always the same Golden Flow milk that was sold to members of the Boston community who drink Chalav Israel. Recenlty, however, their has been a representation of many different brands on the dairy products shelf.


One shopper was not so pleased.

"Where's the Lubavitch milk,"

he exclaimed. The traditionally-sold milk carried the Lubavitch seal indicating kosher status.


This week's milk is celebrating its debut in Boston. Devash Farms milk is certified Kosher and Chalav Israel by Vaad Hakashrus Kiryas Yoel.


Upon first glance at the bottle, one is assured that this new milk too is Chalav Israel and certified by a heimishe hechsher. However, upon a closer observation, one will realize that this Vaad Hakashrus is goyish. Smack in the middle of the bottle is a blue and white banner announcing that the milk is low fat. BLUE AND WHITE! The colors of....

The inquirer will wonder whether this Vaad Hakashrus is to trust. How can they be so corrupt as to grant certification to a milk company with a blue and white banner on their bottles?!
Additionally, how can they lend their approval to a company with a name from the verse describing Eretz Israel, clearly impying Zionist tendencies?! But worst of all, how can the Vaad put a palm tree in the middle of their logo? Don't palm trees remind people of Israel?
One should rest assured, however. The milk still is Chalav Israel. For goyim, at least. For real yidden, it should be חלב שיהודי ראה בחליבו, abbreviated חשר"ב, or milk which a Jew saw its milking, the abbreviated form sounding much like a Hungarian word. The term should changed in order to avoid using the term "Israel," which has led to Zionist thoughts, frivoulous responses to concerts, and of course, mixed dancing.